Yesterday, I had the absolute privilege to read “Rockettes, Rockstars and Rockbottom” by Keltie Colleen, who, incidentally enough, is my complete girlcrush of the moment.
I’ve pretty much been stalking her twitter and blog for months now and to finally get to sit down and read the book was so exciting for me.
This is the girl whose blog I’ve been visiting every time I feel weak and want to text Him. This is the girl who just always seems to say the perfect thing at the perfect time that I need to hear (read) it. This is the girl who has inspired this very blog, and is part of the inspiration behind my mission to love myself before I love a boy.
This is a girl that I realistically enough am never going to have the chance to meet, but though her words on her blog, and through the beautiful words in her book, I’ve come to think of as a most trusted friend.
In Keltie, I found a sort of kindred spirit. Reading about her loves, her mistakes, her heartbreaks and the wisdom she gained from each one is more inspirational than I can even begin to put into words. To paraphrase, at one point in the book she says something about how her type doesn’t work for her. Well in that case, I am her sister. Keltie loves boys in skinny jeans with a guitar on their back. Now I don’t have a physical type, but boy do I have an emotional one.
Looking back on pretty much every guy I’ve ever been with, I’ve tossed aside the ones that treated me like a princess, and relentlessly chased the ones that were so completely unavailable it wasn’t even funny. All a guy needs to win me over is a reputation as a player, a nice smile, and to be a charmer. That right there is my type. Boys can, and have, charmed the pants off me by doing nothing at all. It’s something I’m working on breaking.
My type doesn’t work for me.
I’m a hopeless romantic. Scratch that. I am a hopeful romantic. I am the kind of romantic that doesn’t think everything will be fixed once I find someone, just that maybe the bad things won’t be as bad with someone else there. The reason I go for the player is because deep down, I want to be the girl special enough to change them. To make them want me and only me. That’s always a tough blow for the ego when you realise that it isn’t going to happen, believe me.
I am a hopeful romantic. Even though I knew the outcome of her story, I still found myself wishing she and Dreamer could work it out. Wishing he hadn’t done what he’d done. Wishing he hadn’t thrown away someone as beautiful and as special as Keltie. If I believe in nothing else in this world, I believe in love stories. That one had a bittersweet ending. He screwed it up, she lost a lot, and for a while she lost herself. But in the end, through the suffering she got something so much more important. She got herself back. More beautiful and stronger than ever.
No one has broken my heart, not really. In the past year I’ve only cried once over a boy. Ironically enough, he’s the one that’s made me smile more than any other one too. Now I don’t know what’s going to happen with him. Right now I’m not letting my guard down. But what I do know, is that if I can carry myself off with even half the courage and grace that Keltie shows, I’ll be doing pretty well.
Inspired beyond belief.
Courage. Passion. Hard Work. (To quote Keltie)
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