She was a hurricane but now she's just a gust of wind...

I don't know when it got so hard for me to be assertive.
Maybe I've always been like this and just didn't realise it.
I think maybe I'm too afraid of someone not liking me if I stand up for myself.
I think maybe I'm too afraid of a boy not liking me if I stand up for myself.
Saw Reader yesterday. Bumped into him on the street and for 10 minutes, despite a crap day and my bad mood, Valentines didn't suck.
He said he might call over last night, but he didn't show. He did text to see if we could hang out tonight instead.
Found out tonight he was on his way out with the boys.
I actually called him on it, and in the space of 2 minutes, I felt 3 inches tall, wanting to take it back, to apologise for overreacting, to take the blame and ask him not to hate me for it.
The irony is that I HATE weak girls who let guys treat them like this.
If this was one of my friends I would have told her long ago to forget him. I've told myself to forget him.
And now, because of a stupid fight, my bad mood is back, I feel foolish, and I feel like I've blown something with him.
Blown what, I don't know, considering how awful it was last week when we hung out.
I don't know where this attitude comes from.
I don't know why I think that unacceptable treatment of me is acceptable, if it means a boy likes me.
I hate that more than I hate this post-fight feeling.
I have every right to be pissed if he blows off plans.
I'm not his ex girlfriend who took it and accepted it for 2 years. I'm not even his current girlfriend. I am his friend, and I would never treat a friend like that.
Time to stop letting them get away with it.