Is it something I'll regret or do I want what I can't get? I wish it didn't have to be so bad

I lay on Readers couch tonight, watching stupid TV and trying to find something to say.
It was harder than its ever been.
He said a few weeks back that you can't go back once you've crossed a certain line. I'm starting to think he's right.

I slept in his bed two weeks ago (for the first time in a couple of months) and things have been weird ever since. I'm beginning to realise that I'm never going to have him in the way I wanted him. Not again. I had a shot at it, and for a myriad of reasons, it didn't work out.

He was pretty much the last thing keeping me here. I couldn't help but wonder if I left, would I be missing out on something with him, but now I know for sure.

It feels nice just to know, one way or another I think.